You Can't Just Pray Away the Gay
by TechnoFool
Summary: A recap of season 11 episode 2: Cartman Sucks. I am going to add a few things in there that didn't happen though. Basically, a Bratters story, during the time Butters is at Camp New Grace. Slight of Kyman...(?) (Butters/Bradley, Kyle/Cartman) Disclaimer: I do not own South Park at all. If I did, there would be many yaoi (gay) couples. Many. Very many.


_**A/N: Hello. So recently, I grew out of the Vocaloid and Kingdom Hearts fandoms, and got sucked into the South Park fandom, thanks to Quinn. . Not that I'm complaining. So I'm going to-of course-put my yaoi fantasies to use and make more fics, since... Well, I haven't been updating and crap. So I hope you enjoy what I have so far!**_

* * *

_Why am I here again? Oh, right, 'cause I, Butters Stotch, am confused, and I'm "bi-curious", according to my father._ Butters thought to himself, or rather, scolded himself mentally.

His father's eyes wide, he breathed out, "Father Maxi, I... just don't know where else to turn." Looking at the priest with a glimmer in his eye, he went on. "You see, I've... just learned that my son is... _**bi-curious**__._"

The priest looked at both Mr. Stotch and Butters. Facing Butters, he asked the blonde, "Is that true, son?" Pausing momentarily, the priest laced his fingers together and leaned on his hands, elbows on his desk. "Are you feeling... confused?" he suggested.

Eyebrows dipping, Butters looked left to right repetitively. His mouth was slightly agape, a frown on his young face, until he answered unsurely, "Yeah, I'm pretty confused, alright."

Mr. Stotch stared at his son worriedly. Gesturing at Butters, he said to the priest, "You see?"

Father Maxi inhaled, then spoke to Butters. "You see, son, these _confused_ feelings that you're having are simply the devil's way of trying to get ahold of you."

Both Stotchs stared at him with surprise. Butters then asked without blinking, "Really?"

Leopold's dad, more concerned about his son, asked immediately, "What can I do, Father?"

Father then held a finger up, as if making a point. "There's a special camp, where young men who are confused, like your son, can go and be cleansed by the power of God." Holding a hand to the sky, he explained further. "Many bi-curious boys come out of the camp completely cured."

Mr. Stotch brought his finger up to his chin, thinking aloud, "A secluded camp where lots of bi-curious boys are all... put together?" "...That sounds like a good idea!" he concluded, smiling widely.

Butters finally spoke, shouting happily, "Oh, boy! Camp!" Although he didn't quite get the situation.

* * *

Eric entered Stan's house uninvited, knowing that those three were playing something in there. Finding them all playing a board game, he walked up to them interrupting their game, pointing at them all accusingly and laughed sarcastically. "Very funny." Cartman crossed his arms, making it more obvious he was in a bad mood. "I supposed you think you _really_ got me."

Kyle, not looking away from his cards, asked nonchalantly. "What are you talking about, Fat-ass?" He then picked up the die and rolled it.

"I checked on the internet, _Kahl, _and getting Butters to put my wiener in his mouth wouldn't make me not gay like _you_ said."

The three still playing their game, with no interest in Cartman's grumpy ass mood, Kyle responded in a monotone-like voice, "You figured that out, huh?"

Turning his back to them and crossing his arms, Eric said cockily, "That's right. And I also learned from the internet, that just because I put Butters' penis into my mouth, does not mean I'm gay." The three continued paying not much attention to him as he ranted on. "All I have to do is throw away the picture, forget it e_ver _happened, and _nobody will __ever__ know._"

Stan glanced at Kenny and Kyle, while Kyle replied without looking up, "Except for us."

Smiling to himself, back still turned, Eric repeated what his enemy had said. "Right, except for you."

"And all the people we tell." Kyle said, lacking emotion in his voice.

Cartman's smile instantly changed to a frown. He turned around to look at his so-called _friends._ "...Why would you tell anybody?"

Stan spoke up for the three of them. "Because it's really, _really, _funny." He said, though not smiling.

Cartman looked over at Stan. "It's not that funny." He tried convincing them. "There's lots of things that are way funnier.

"Like what?" Kyle challenged with disinterest.

After making poor examples of funnier things and his friends claiming them not to be funny, Eric snapped. He warned them not to tell anybody.

"Well, maybe we will, maybe we won't." Kyle said without a hint of care.

Cartman threatened them not to tell anyone, stating he would photoshop _the picture_ to look like Kyle. He ran out, laughing.

The three had all thought one thing, _Cartman is such a dumbass._

* * *

_**A/N: Okay, that's all. I'll work on this after school tomorrow if I can and have energy for it. Just in case you haven't figured out by now, this is sort of a recap on a real episode, season 11 episode 2: Cartman Sucks. I'm just putting it into words to make you relive that moment. But some things will be added that didn't happen. So! Please review, favorite, follow. I hope you liked it, and, well... Laterz. :**_


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